I put on my robe and wizard hat…

Actually, what I put on was my rantypants.

I posted a rant in about how everybody exaggerates a certain aspect of Janette’s accent: mainly, how fanfic writers spell out the fact that she drops the “s” in Nick’s full first name.

I’m sorry, but it’s an fandom-wide tic that drives me nuts, and agreed with me when we talked about it yea many moons ago. I figured, since I’m a lurker on that community, why not drop that rant there so I can release my fangirl-obsessiveness?

You can read the full rant here.

Oh, and when I said in my previous post that my muse in blind-siding me with ideas… I wasn’t kidding. A new fanfic idea popped in my head yesterday afternoon. Picture it: a post-LK crossover with Stargate SG-1. Here’s the general concept:

Nick and Natalie are snapped from the jaws of death… only to be taken as host bodies for the exiled Goa’uld System Lord Nirgal and his queen Irkalla. The two Goa’uld search for a Stargate to escape Earth, as they are bitter enemies of many of the other System Lords and desperately need to go into hiding to save themselves. When they find the “chappa’ai” at SG Command, they reveal to the SGC that they were the first true “Tok’ra”: the Goa’uld resistance to the System Lords’ reign. But are they truly being hunted down for trying to change the System Lords’ rule from the inside… or is it for something far more sinister?

The SG-verse is heavy on mythology, so I’ll tell you exactly who Nirgal and Irkalla actually were:

In Sumerian mythology, Nirgal (alternately known as Nergal or Nirgali) was the god of war and pestilence. Bloodshed and plague was his form of entertainment, basically. Oh, and he also was the ruler of the underworld, Aralu. Not a bad gig, huh? Kill ’em yourself, then they have no choice but serve you for eternity. Good way to get cheap help.

Anyway, Irkalla (more commonly known as Erishkegal) was a sky goddess and sister to the fertility goddess Ishtar. Like her kid sister, Irkalla was a total babe. Unfortunately, she was kidnapped from the heavens by a dragon named Kur, who flung her into the underworld.

Irkalla, seeing no way out, decided to make herself at home and set up shop as the underworld’s new ruler. Nirgal must have been on his idea of vacation or something (stirring up a land war in Asia, maybe?), but wherever he had gone… he came back. Seeing what Irkalla had done with the place, he got uber-pissed and threatened to destroy her utterly.

They got into a huge battle royale, and it looked like he was going to win. So he gave her an out: “marry me and I’ll spare your miserable hide”. It wasn’t much of a choice, really. But, preferring a loveless marriage to being completely erased from history, she (not so) happily accepted. So now she’s the pouty ill-tempered ruler of the dead along with her jerkface of a husband.

Trust me, given SG’s mythology bent, this myth will be important once I get that story started. Of course, as SG tends to take liberties with the myths, so will I. Nirgal won’t seem like quite so much of a jerkface… especially as he’ll be inhabiting Nick’s body. But he’ll still seem like a jerk anyway, ‘cos he’s a Goa’uld, and the Goa’uld tend to be SG’s stock villains (or, at least they were earlier on in the series, before the Ori came along).

Poor Nick. First he’s possessed by a demon… then he gets a snake in his head. Jack O’Neill would rather eat a bullet than be in fang-boy’s shoes.

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Mostly, I write stuff. And, like the Egyptians and the Internet, I put cat pictures on my walls. Also, I can read your Tarot.

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