You, trying to come up with a playlist for Darkiplier: *playing a mix of My Chemical Romance, Evanescence and Marilyn Manson*

Me, an intellectual: *BLARING ARCH ENEMY’S LATEST ALBUM AT MAXIMUM VOLUME AND SCREAMING MYSELF HOARSE*

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Mostly, I write stuff. And, like the Egyptians and the Internet, I put cat pictures on my walls. Also, I can read your Tarot.