Request: The signs as egos

Requested by : Anon

Aquarius: Marvin the Magnificent
Pisces: Darkiplier
Aries: Jackieboy Man
Taurus: Bingiplier
Gemini: Dr. Schneeplestein
Cancer: Dr. Iplier
Leo: Wilford Warfstache
Virgo: Chase Brody
Libra: The Host
Scorpio: Antisepticeye
Sagittarius: Googleplier
Capricorn: Robbie the Zombie

Yes! My dark boi shares my Sun sign!

Although, I’m betting He’d have a double Scorpio in His chart; by that, I mean a Scorpio Moon and Ascendant. Moon = inner desires and the things that comfort you, and Ascendant = outward appearance, aka the vibe you give off. Scorpio is the sign of the zodiac that rules death, sex and the occult – all the things that give us a little tingle down our spine.

Scorpio is also a sign known for its desire for control, its tendency to hold grudges, and the air of mystery those born under the sign tend to give off. Like, no matter how well you know them, you’ll never truly know them.


Pisces also has that “you don’t really know me” vibe, but tends more towards dreaminess and romanticism. Which would explain, astrologically speaking, why Dark tries to sweep us off our feet rather than intentionally scaring us like Anti. Despite the powerful influence of Scorpio in other areas of Dark’s (metaphorical) chart, He can’t deny His sun sun. Though you can go through periods where you “live out” a certain aspect of your birth chart.

Here’s what I mean by that:

I was born at the time the sun was in Pisces, but my Moon is in Gemini and my Ascendant is in Taurus. Meaning, I’m a dreamy escapist (Pisces), who’s motivated by a desire to communicate (Gemini), and I give the outward appearance of being strong-willed and stubborn (Taurus).

In keeping a blog like this where I write, and seeking a career as a writer, I’m living out my Gemini Moon… my desire to communicate, to spread ideas. I’ve spent the last five years in therapy living out my Taurus side to get me through my recovery. But either way, I’m still the dreamy, romantic, mental escape artist that is a Pisces. And, at my most romantic, I want to create a soft place of escape for my loved ones too. 

(And Dark offered us all an escape with the promise that whatever we desire, “I can provide.”)

Pisces is a sign stylized as two fish facing opposite directions. This represents the choices our sign is given in life (and you all remember how Dark went on about making choices in A Date with Markiplier). We can either swim upstream and emerge as the big fish in a small pond… or we can swim downstream and get caught in the mire of our own regrets and sorrows. The strong Pisces develops the strength to swim upstream but, even so, we’re always fighting the innate urge to follow “the path of least resistance.”

Pisces who swim upstream bring their dreamy way of looking at the world into their work lives, being the gentle creative forces behind big ideas. A good example of this is Floor Jansen, whose sweet and engaging personality has eased the symphonic metal band Nightwish into a new creative era… one where they aren’t constantly plagued by internal disagreements.

Pisces who wander downstream can get caught in addictions and become self-destructive. A particularly sad case in point: Kurt Cobain.

As to Dark being a Pisces, the real question is: Which choice in life is He following? Is He swimming upstream or downstream?

Yes, He appears in the form of someone successful, even down to a nice suit. But this is a ruse. And Pisces are natural chameleons, which is why so many make good stage performers. But Dark uses this natural ability with questionable intent.

He’s a Pisces swimming downstream, caught in the mire of His own rage and pain… and choosing to allow the current to take Him into that dimmer, more destructive place; rather than to fight the current and seek happiness. He’s choosing to use others rather than better Himself.

Sadly, that was a choice my Pisces stepfather had also made. He endured a difficult childhood and, rather than using it to make him stronger, he became an abusive alcoholic who smoked like a chimney. He ultimately died alone in hospital, due to complications brought on by his emphysema and liver damage.

Life’s all about choices and, when you’re a Pisces, the power of the choices you make can be far-reaching. The life you live is a consequence of choices that are made, some of which are made by others, but most is in your hands. And we, the fish who do our damnedest to swim upstream, know this better than most.

And if Dark’s swimming downstream, that means He’s become obsessed with His own self-comfort. What pleases Him is having control (indicative of a Scorpio Moon, like I mentioned earlier) and, as a downstream Pisces, that means He’s driven beyond reason to obtain control. At any cost, in order to feel better about Himself.

All of this to say that Dark fits the criteria for the worst kind of Pisces better than you might’ve thought… with a control-obsessed, vengeful Scorpion edge.


Posted by

Mostly, I write stuff. And, like the Egyptians and the Internet, I put cat pictures on my walls. Also, I can read your Tarot.