Black Holes, as in the thing that do the spaghetti thing to whatever’s put in it, atom by atom while you’re still alive, are due to You?! Holy fuck-DAMN! Remind me never to piss You off Dark!!!

Black holes aren’t all bad, I assure you.

I designed them to be quite efficient. They don’t merely consume the energy they take in via spaghettification; they recycle it, ejecting the matter they’ve taken in back out into space so it can be used again to form something new, such as new stars.

So long as you keep enough distance, the black holes will not harm you.

And there is also a supermassive black hole in the middle of your Milky Way galaxy, at the point your astronomers have designated Sagittarius A. The supermassive black hole’s gravitational pull keeps your world from spinning away into the empty, icy void of space. And your world’s position – on the farthest edge of one arm of the Milky Way spiral galaxy – is a safe enough distance away to not risk falling into its gravity well.

Your world being in the Goldilocks zone – the spatial distance and conditions that are ideal for such delicate carbon-based lifeforms to thrive – is the combined effort of Myself and My lovely sister. Together, we crafted the conditions that would be suitable for life, your life.

Then Life herself took the reins and made you.

So when you look up at the sky tonight, and see that veil of inky black punctuated by the pinpoint glow of distant stars, just remember: My sister and I made all of that, together.


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Mostly, I write stuff. And, like the Egyptians and the Internet, I put cat pictures on my walls. Also, I can read your Tarot.