Darkiplier: My NSFW Alphabet

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I saw @loveisffandlattes post one of these for Yandere, and I thought that some of you might enjoy my NSFW headcanons for Hellgod!Dark. Are you ready for a sexy, sexy time with a hot (in more ways than one) demon? You’ll find the stuff to hit that hard-to-reach spot under the cut.


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Originally posted by alienboyinblue

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
This is the rare time you’ll see Him in a manner approaching human affection. He tends to be rather standoffish even in His most loving relationships, so Him just holding your hand is a big deal. But He will make sure that you are comfortable and not too sore after all’s said and done, and He’ll do His level best to attend to your needs.

So yes, you can get Him to cuddle you after sex… as long as you ask nicely.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partner’s)
He finds human biology to be interesting, as it’s quite different from that of demons, but He doesn’t have a ‘favourite’ body part, as such. He’s more interested in the whole package – the body and the mind/soul inside it.

And as for His Vessel? Meh. It’s just a useful means of perambulation and interaction with the locals of this reality. Nothing more, nothing less. He’s kind of a braggart regarding His True Form, though (not that it’s totally unwarranted, because He’s actually a Scary AF Lovecraftian Monstrosity).

C = Cum (anything having to do with it)
He’s a bit of a neatnik, so any… er, messes… that get made would be cleaned up immediately after. He doesn’t like waste, clutter or dirtiness. He’s not a germaphobe; He’s just very aware of the importance of a pristine appearance.

Or so He says, anyway. Do YOU wanna argue with Him about it?

D = Dirty secret
He’s naturally a forceful, dominant personality… but He isn’t really interested in kinky sex. Whips and chains just ain’t His bag, though He’s willing to do mild bondage and sensation play if His partner is more adventurous.

He’ll never admit it, but also He enjoys not having to be the one in control while in bed. Having someone else in charge for once is a turn-on for Him.

E = Experience
Both more and less than you’d think. He’s a demon and, while He’s lived for a very long time, He hasn’t been in a human body for that long. Demon sex (which is more violent) is more familiar to Him than human sex. He’s learned to modify His strength to avoid injuring a human bedmate, however. So it’ll be a little rough but, if you like that sort of thing, it’ll be very enjoyable.

F = Favourite position
Behind you. And the more in tune He is to the moment, the physically closer He is to His partner.

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Originally posted by niftyshadesofmelissa

G = Goofy (are they serious or humourous in the moment, etc.)
He’s a very serious fellow, so He’s not the type to get silly, especially in an intimate moment. Which doesn’t mean He’s unpleasant; He just tends to take things seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed they are, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Seriously, have you SEEN how this guy dresses? He takes very good care of His Vessel, doing His best to keep it in ship-shape and appealing to the human eye.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspects…)
He’ll keep some emotional distance, but He’ll also make you feel like the only person on the planet worthy of His attention. Which you pretty much are. It’ll almost feel like He’s worshiping YOU.

He’s also a guy who doesn’t really confide in anyone, and tends to lean more towards being the strong and silent type, so you have a muy misterioso lover in Him. To make up for this, He’ll shower you with gifts and attention.

J = Jacking off
He’s generally not interested in, uh… “self-service.” In fact, He’s only interested when the opportunity presents itself in the form of a bedmate. Otherwise, He’s very focused on His planning and scheming.

K = Kink
He’ll pull your bra off by the straps… with His teeth. Rawr.

L = Location (favourite place to get busy)
He’s a creature of comfort, a gentleman of leisure, if you will. So there’s nothing better than a big, soft and sufficiently sturdy bed with fluffy pillows and a puffy comforter. For you, this means you’re pretty much laying on a cloud while He’s ramming you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc.)
If He’s genuinely interested in you, then the occasional snappy comeback will get Him fired up (just don’t overdo it, as insults are Not An Okay Thing with Him). He’s intrigued by those who aren’t intimidated by Him or, at the very least, can convincingly act like they aren’t but still have respect for Him.

N = NO (turn offs, things they won’t do)
He’s not interested in an unwilling partner (albeit an interested, consenting partner may not be aware they’re with a demon). As forceful a personality as He has and as much of a manipulator as He is, that is the one line He will not cross. In fact, He would be more interested in avenging those who have been victimized in such a way. Hell, it might be the one deal He’d make where He wouldn’t ask for anything in return, but the sheer pleasure of utterly destroying a complete asshole.

He also strongly believes that the males of the species are responsible for their women and offsprings’ safety, and that said males should do everything in their power to protect the weakest among them. He may be evil, but He DOES have standards. Picking on the helpless is not His bag.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers giving it, rather than receiving. Some might think that’s a servile position, but He sees it differently… as being the one who makes you lose control completely, being the only one who can drive you over the proverbial edge. It’s a power trip for Him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He generally likes it rough, but He can do it nice and easy if you’re in the mood for something a little gentler. He’ll also kiss you and touch you everywhere, exploring every niche of your body.

Q = Quickie
Nope. That’s not His thing either. When He’s in the mood for it, He’ll take His time with you – even to the point of rearranging His schedule. Just be happy you’re ON His schedule; that’s how you know things are going well between the two of you.

R = Risks (are they open to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He aims to please you so, while He might not be especially interested in toys or such, He’ll be more than happy to play your little sexy game if you express your interest in a certain thing.

Also, He’s a demon… an extraordinarily powerful demonic deity, at that. So that in itself is a big risk.

S = Stamina
He’s an unstoppable force of nature. The first few times He’s in your bed, you’ll ache for DAYS afterward.

T = Toys
Nope. He doesn’t have any. If you want some, you’ll have to ask Him to get them for you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh holy shit, this guy is SUCH a tease, it’s ridiculous. This is the kind of play He’s really into, and the seduction will start the second He walks into the room. He’ll casually make innuendos over a candlelit dinner, and give you slight glancing touches during the main course. He can turn you into mush with just His words alone.

By the time dinner is over, you’ll be begging Him to have you right there on the table.

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Originally posted by loveviral

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s not unusually loud, but the sounds He makes aren’t exactly human. So it might be a shock the first time you hear Him vocalise while you’re making love, as His voice becomes very animalistic. Usually He’ll growl quietly. He’s not much of a talker when He really gets down to business, either.

W = Wild card (random headcanon)
He can remove His clothes with a snap of the fingers. Pretty convenient, huh?

X = X-ray (what’s going on in those pants)
His dick is on the larger side, curves slightly due to its girthiness, and is ridged. (Or should I say, ribbed for your pleasure?)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Meh. At this point in His life, and during the long-term recuperating process from His battle wounds, His libido isn’t nearly as high as you’d expect. That being said? If He were at full strength, you wouldn’t be leaving bed for over a week when He gets home.

Z = Zzzzzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He doesn’t sleep… but you’re likely to pass out from sheer exhaustion trying to keep up with Him. The sex won’t happen as often as you might like but, when it does, it’s a marathon rather than a sprint. Make sure you’ve gotten plenty of sleep while He’s away… because you won’t be sleeping when you’re in His bed.

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