Based on a request by nikkiplier on Tumblr: “I was hoping to have one where dark catches the reader self harming and it strikes him so deep to his core that he realizes he wants her more than just sex, that he wants to protect and love her. Like I was thinking they had a strictly sexual relationship but when he’s looking in on her from his Realm and goes to comfort her. I can just imagine his heart breaking when he sees it happening and he instantly realizes he just wants to protect her.”
I was blanking on how to make a story out of it, so I made it an “imagine” instead. Hope you don’t mind, Nikki!
(Originally posted under the title Imagine: Dark with a self-harming S/O with the above gif by markired.)
He’s selfish, and capable of incredible cruelty, and you know this. But He shows His softer side when He’s with you.
At first, He’s only with you because you fill a need in Him, the need for intimate contact. But almost against His own will, He becomes more attached to you. He’s a lonely and isolated being who no longer trusts anyone, so it’s actually understandable that He’d be a little gun-shy in the relationship department. After all, He’s been hurt too.
You’re okay when He’s there; the subtle droning of His aura silences the noise in your head, and His firm but gentle touch pushes away the memories of everything that hurt you in life.
But when you’re alone… Oh, when you’re alone, the noise in your head is too loud, the sound of every time you’ve been put down, let down, knocked down ringing in your ears.
You don’t know exactly how long ago you started with the cutting. He’s noticed the marks on your body, and He’s asked… but you’ve played it off as being accident prone. He, not being human, accepted your explanation without fussing. Just with a gentle warning to take better care of yourself in the future.
You only hurt yourself when you’re alone.
You keep the cuts shallow, so they heal quickly and you don’t have to go to the hospital. The brief flare of physical pain redirects your thoughts, to the little beads of blood as they pool at the surface. It’s a strange kind of Zen, you think. For a moment, you’re at peace.
But the noise returns, and another shallow cut is made. You hardly notice the tears in your eyes anymore. The pain is a release, when you’re surrounded by nothing but the sound of your own thoughts.
You’re so locked inside your own head, that you don’t notice His return. He reaches for you, with such unexpected tenderness that it makes you weep all the more. His multi-layered voice becomes soft, asking you, “Why?”
His eyes boring into you, ageless and eternal eyes that have seen so many things you can’t even begin to imagine, releases you from the shame of it. You pour your heart out to Him, telling Him everything, suddenly feeling it all at the same time. It’s all too much. And you fear that He won’t stay, because you’re weak.
With a firm reassurance that He’s not leaving you, He seeks out the first aid kit. He medicates and wraps your wounds in the soft gauze, His gaze intent on the task before Him. He insists that you need more but, when you protest against it, He says that He’ll bring you to Dr. Iplier instead of the hospital.
Dr. Iplier checks your wounds out, Dark refusing to leave your side the whole while, and the doctor offers his professional opinion that you should go to the hospital for additional psychiatric care.
You burst into tears yet again, feeling like you’ve failed somehow. Dark puts His arms around you, reassuring you that you are one of the strongest mortals He knows. You just have been fighting for so long that you’ve grown tired, and that, He says, is perfectly understandable.
You agree, exhaustedly, and decide to check yourself into the hospital. You’re placed in a psychiatric ward for a few days. Dark calls you every evening while you’re there, just to talk to you and to reassure you that everything will be alright. You need to focus on you now, on feeling better.
The day you leave the hospital, He’s there to pick you up. Leaning against His very nice rented vehicle, arms opening expectantly. You run into His sure embrace, feeling lighter. As if a thousand-pound weight that’s been on your chest for years has suddenly been lifted.
At home, He makes sure everything is comfortable for you. He pulls in the shadowy smoke of His aura so that you can feel the sunshine through the windows, and makes sure you eat enough and take your medication on time. You remind yourself that cutting is an addiction, and you’re stronger than your addiction.
Dark never tells you in words, but His actions, the amount of care He puts into His time with you, lets you know that He loves you. He may be a Hellgod, but He’s not all bad… and you’re doing better because He cares.