I’m Undead

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Author’s Note: Parody of Celine Dion’s “I’m Alive.” Written for FF.net in 2002, but later pulled due to their ever changing rules.


I go for the red
Oh, I’m undead

You may like coffee
But that’s not for me
I go for the red
‘Cos, you know, I’m undead

I don’t like Pepsi
It hurts my head
You know ‘cos I’m undead

It may sound sucky
But I feel lucky
I drink blood instead
I’m glad that I’m undead

I’d like to suck your blood
And bite your neck
‘Cos you offered
Oh what the heck

Please just sign this waiver
So your blood I can savor
‘Cos I am undead

You may like coffee
But that’s not for me
I go for the red
‘Cos, you know, I’m undead

You may like tea
But I prefer some red
Oh you know…

It’s a pain in the butt some nights
Vamp hunters like to pick a fight
And it never ends
But bloodlust is part of unlife

You may like coffee
You may like tea
I go for the red
‘Cos, you know…

It may sound sucky
But I feel lucky
I drink blood instead
You know that I’m undead

I go for the red
Oh you know I’m undead

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Mostly, I write stuff. And, like the Egyptians and the Internet, I put cat pictures on my walls. Also, I can read your Tarot.