Last Knight Top Tens

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Top tens based on the episode “Last Knight.” Originally written for the DarkNN website.


Ten things LaCroix didn’t say as he held the stake:

10. Better you than me.
9. Tis a far better thing I do than I have ever done before.
8. Does this mean you’re definitely not moving with me?
7. Ten bucks says I get the heart first try.
6. Give in to the Dark Side. It is your destiny.
5. I get double points if the stake hits Natalie too.
4. Am I in your will?
3. My horoscope said this would be a bad Knight.
2. Is it too late to audition for Kindred?

And the number one thing LaCroix didn’t say as he held the stake:

1. There can be only one!

* * *

Ten Things Nick didn’t think after draining Natalie:

10. I wonder if that’s what Nat meant by “making love”?
9. If I were gentle and sensitive, the other vampires would make fun of me.
8. This is going to make Captain Reese’s day.
7. Wham, Bam, Thank’ya Ma’am!
6. Gee, that wasn’t at all like doing it with Janette…
5. Why do I feel a kinship with Perry?
[Both tried to bring a loved one across and both are sons of b****es.] 4. Life is like a box of chocolates; stuff yourself until they’re all gone.
3. If you love something set it free. If it won’t go, suck it dry.
2. Now LaCroix will have a guilt trip too.

And the number one thing Nick didn’t think:

1. [That’s right. He *didn’t think*!]

* * *

Ten Things Natalie might think after Nick was done:

10. Did anyone get the license number of that truck?
9. Eww, gross. His breath smells like a dead cow.
8. Maybe that chemical cure wasn’t so bad after all.
7. Damn it, Nick. I’m a doctor, not a fast food joint.
6. I never suspected Nick suffered from premature exsanguination.
5. So Nick, was it good for you?
4. Roger Jameson… Nick Knight… Boyfriends to die for.
3. No more boyfriends. I’m gonna buy me a dog.
2. Hand me that stake, LaCroix. I’ve got dibs.

And the number one thing Nat might think after Nick was done:

1. Why am I so *hungry* all of a sudden?

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Last updated on: May 29, 2018

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