I had originally posted this one-shot fic on tumblr, immediately following the reveal of the Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye video, but prior to Mark’s confirmation that the vid was indeed a parody and NOT canon.
I included this gif (Made by marielgum) in the fic’s post:
Yeah, the long and short of it is that this is where the demon boys get angry. Because we all know how well they handle being mocked (read: not at all, and will probably gut you like a fish). Enjoy! 😀
Dark quietly sipped at a demitasse of black coffee as he sat back on his throne. After placing the cup back on its saucer, he briefly drummed his fingers against the table in thought. It was an odd, if rare, nervous habit he’d developed since taking a human vessel for the first time.
Human behaviour was annoyingly resilient.
His surroundings, while cast in chiaroscuro, were nonetheless quite richly appointed… rather than the empty void his most fervent devotees thought it to be. He pulled in his aura, the high-pitched ringing fading to a soft droning note, and he smoothed down his suit jacket.
A guest would be here. Well, not here, precisely. The aforementioned “visitor” of sorts would not be able to survive within the shadow realm… but that didn’t mean communication was impossible between them.
The plasma TV – the only nod to modern technology within Dark’s realm – flickered on and, amid the static, a certain green-haired entity leered.
“Hello, Anti.” Dark’s tone was coolly courteous as he greeted his guest.
“How’s it goin’, Monochrome?” Anti replied with a wide, manic grin. “I hear a big congrats are in order. Somethin’ about you gettin’ hitched? A pretty little blonde who’s good with sharp objects?”
Dark hated that appellation Anti gave him, but it would be of little benefit to him to argue with an entity from a neighbouring realm over such a spurious matter. Not if the treaty between the two realms was to remain intact.
“Indeed. And thank you.”
“So how’s the missus?”
“Recovering. The soul-bonding took a great deal out of her. Once she is well, I will escort her back to the world above, so she may see it all with her new eyes.”
“Sounds like a lovely date you have planned,” Anti noted.
Dark merely nodded, before announcing, “Perhaps we should get down to business.”
Anti gave another of his manic grins. “I knew you didn’t ring me up just to chit-chat. So, lay it on me.”
Dark raised an eyebrow, but reached for his coffee. After a slow, contemplative sip, he said, “I take it you’ve seen the latest?”
Anti snorted. “You mean Mark and Jackieboy’s new video?”
“The one where we insult each other like a couple of tweens who just discovered the internet, before being eaten by a dog?”
Dark placed his drink very carefully on his table, before replying. “Yes. That one.” His voice was a growl.
“I didn’t like it,” Anti chirped. “Not one bit.” The television went staticky for a brief moment, a split-second vision of Jack choking flitting amid the snowy screen, before Anti’s image returned.
“Nor I.” Dark could feel his own aura coiling and bristling around him like an angry python, before he forced himself to relax. To no avail. His fist suddenly slammed against the table, causing a fissure in the South American teak. “I warned him there would be consequences, should he take my name in vain one more time! The foolish boy must have a death wish!”
Dark stilled, adjusting his tie. It would be far more rewarding to save the energy behind that rage for later. After all, one does not incur the wrath of a Hellgod without suffering in the process.
“So whatcha thinkin’ here, Sharp-Dressed Man? Do we pay them back in blood and screams?” Anti cackled. “I’d love to take a knife to ol’ Jackieboy! Carve out my pound o’ flesh!”
“Killing them would be too easy,” Dark allowed in a deep, liquid drawl. “In the world of mortal men, death is an end to all suffering.”
“So, it’s To The Pain, then?”
Dark smirked. “Oh yes, there will be pain.”