Tell Me a Story…

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I finally put together a story based around my theory on Darkiplier’s origin and Markiplier’s channel lore. It’s not a “figment” type story, where Dark is spontaneously born from Mark’s head. Nope. Because Mark himself told us long ago that Dark “isn’t a character.” Makes you wonder, don’t it?

Also? This one-shot fic was originally posted on tumblr, with this awesome picture by Maskman626 as an illustration (and yes, that is a piece of Darkiplier fanart). I thought it spoke to the theme of the story very well. Check it out before you read further. I can wait.

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So, now that everyone’s here again… Sit back, pour the cappuccinos and smoke ’em if you got ’em, ’cause someone’s got a story to tell…


“Once upon a time – that’s how these things usually start, right? – there was a king. Not like a king we’d know, a ruler of a country. No, this guy was big news: He ruled an entire realm, a whole reality. This reality, dimension, or whatever you want to call it… It’s the kind of place where your worst nightmares are all real.

“And this guy – the Head Honcho – He ruled all of it. Now, in most cases, you don’t get the absolute power a monarchy gives by being nice. You stomp all over anybody who stands in your way, maybe behead those who seem like the biggest threat to your power, imprison people for ungodly amounts of time so they’ll learn not to mess with you…

“This guy was the worst. Worst of the worst. So He was feared… and loved, like few of these types usually are. And He ruled a very scary place, so He was the scariest of them all, as you can probably imagine. And He ruled for a very, very long time… not like decades or even centuries; you’d have to use a geological timescale to get the right numbers to tell you just how long this guy was in charge.

“But – surprise, surprise! – not everybody was cool with Him. And, try as He might, He couldn’t stop a rebellion from forming. ‘Cause it was done in secret, you see. These folks weren’t stupid; they wanted Him to get all complacent and relaxed and shit, so He wouldn’t see it coming. They eventually made their move; the people in His inner circle, who He thought were His most loyal and devoted subjects, turned on Him.

“Needless to say, He didn’t like it. Not one bit. So, He fought back. The battle lasted for ages.  And, though He was powerful and scary and, yeah, immortal and all, He eventually lost. He was wounded, weakened and cast out of His realm into a new one. Our world.

“There, He plotted and planned. What was He planning? Well, that’s the thing. He didn’t trust anyone anymore, so He would never tell anyone. Maybe He was planning to go back to His realm and retake the throne, making His enemies pay for exiling Him. Or maybe He liked this new place better and wanted to take it over instead. Who knows? I certainly don’t.

“But while Ye Olde God-King was recuperating, He was drawn to a young man in a similar predicament. The young man wasn’t special, by any means. But he was in a hospital and had dealt with a lot of crap in his life, had basically lost everything, and was sick and tired of life kicking him in the face.

“The God-King and this kid struck a deal. The God-King still had some power… enough to alter the kid’s future in this reality, and give the young man whatever he wanted. The price for such amazing service wasn’t named, only that it was to be paid at a later date.

“The kid – like an idiot – agreed to the terms. Things started happening fast after that: the little gaming channel the kid had exploded in popularity, he found a nice girlfriend, he was on good terms with his mom, he was making enough money to live comfortably… Life was pretty sweet.

“But, though he’d never mentioned it to his viewers, they knew what was up. Something else was involved. They could sense that creepy-ass entity’s presence, even when the kid was just being a goober and making faces at the camera. The audience then gave this entity something He hadn’t had when He’d first arrived – they gave Him a name, in their own language, of course. But it was a name that echoed the name the kid had chosen for himself, and it linked the two of them closer together than that deal had first made them.

“The God-King, now that He had a human name, decided to take a human form. A form just like the kid’s but… wrong, somehow. The God-King showed off this new form by hijacking an interactive game that the kid made on his channel. And this guy – this fucking “all shall love me and despair” asshole of a guy – offered a new deal to the audience. A simple one; to let Him in. And they took it, without actually meaning to.

“So, He began to gain power. The kid tried to fight back as best he could, the only way he could. Through laughter. Because making fun of something that scares you limits its power over you.

“Now, you’d think that’d be the end right? Good triumphs over evil, and the heroes celebrate by dining on some shwarma. But that’s not how it goes, you see. Because the story isn’t over. And that’s the difference between a story and a fairy tale. A story can always have a new chapter suddenly open in an unexpected way, while in a fairy tale good things happen to good people and the bad guys get what they deserve.

“Life isn’t a fairy tale. It’s a story that never ends. The good people make mistakes, they live and they learn.. and they keep trying to do what they can to make the world a less crappy place. Evil will always exist in some form, but that doesn’t mean we have to surrender to it, to give it power.”

Mark gives you a grim smile, his face gaunt with exhaustion.

“But that’s why you never make a deal with a Hellgod. There’s a price to pay; there always is. But you won’t know what that really means until it’s already too late.

“So now, I’ve told you a story. But did you really listen?

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Last updated on: May 31, 2018

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Mostly, I write stuff. And, like the Egyptians and the Internet, I put cat pictures on my walls. Also, I can read your Tarot.